BOOTS

Forgive us - A Short Digression.
      Professor Graham-Brown had a notable climbing career which extended into his venerable and remarkable old age. Those who knew him in his later years, speak with awe of his hardiness and relate how, for example, he insisted on sleeping out in a tent in the February snow while the remainder of the party slept snugly in the CIC hut on Ben Nevis. Always his behaviour was characterised by a refusal to acknowledge any discomfort or concession to his age. The story below was told to me by a Zermatt Guide over a cup of cocoa in a snow-bound Alpine Hut. I have no reason to doubt its veracity.
      The Professor who was by that time in his seventies, had hired my narrator to accompany him on an ascent of the Matterhorn. As was the custom, they left the Hornli Hut at some unbelievably early hour (they're all mad in the Alps) and climbed for several hours until sun-up. The guide, who had had some misgivings about taking such an elderly client on such a strenuous tour, was impressed by the old man's speed. Nevertheless, as they sat munching sandwiches, Graham-Brown did something he had never been known to do before. He complained. His feet he said, did not feel right. They both looked down and, as the sun threw its warming light across that breathless landscape, they saw what was the matter. Graham-Brown had his boots on the wrong feet.



      It is with pride that Tartan Hen pays homage to that late great man by introducing our unique line of Graham-Brown boots, which are cunningly moulded in durable scratch-resistant leather-look plastic. When worn correctly, they APPEAR to be reversed-handed (or footed). With these, you too can pull the Graham-Brown stunt, without the accompanying discomfort of doing it for real.

WARNING: Those making use of Graham-Brown boots should avoid overplaying the senility bit lest well meaning companions enforce a boot-switch.