INSECT CONTROL
You've tried the creams and the sprays but they don't work, they bring you out in blisters and they taste
dreadful. You've tried the anti-midge hoods but they restrict your vision and give you claustraphobia.
So try the latest thing in midge-busting -
The ANTI-MIDGE BALLOON.
This hermetically sealed unit (with integral boots) contains enough air to last for 4 hours of normal
use and 24 hours of comatose use. The good news is that if you fall while wearing the balloon you are
unlikely to be injured. The bad news is that if you fall you may end up a long way from your intended destination.
The ULTIMATE REVENGE
This device, which is intended for use with the Anti-midge balloon, has only recently been released from
high level security classification. With the ULTIMATE you can inject a seething mass of ravenous midges
into the balloon being worn by some target of your disaffection. The Ultimate was originally developed for
MI5 and was used by that organisation for the extraction of information from naked and otherwise recalcitrant
enemy spies.